#56 Practicing Unconditional Self-Love with Alia Jamal

In today's episode with Alia Jamal, we talk about unconditional self-love and how you can bring more self-love into your day to day life with some simple and nourishing practices.

Meet Alia Jamal! Alia has dedicated to help women connect with Unconditional Love within themselves. She combines her 10 year experience in cytogenetics, study of human behaviour and human energy body to help her clients. She helps them eliminate fears, Anxiety, guilt, and judgements and create a life of Love and Power. Besides helping her clients living as their true authentic self she loves trees, meditation, and reading.

Guest Links:
www.aliajamalcoaching.com
https://www.instagram.com/alia_thelovecoach
https://www.facebook.com/alia.thelovecoach

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Enjoy

Much love!

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Emma Evelyn Campbell is a Healer, Energetics & NLP Coach, guiding you on the journey to strengthen your connection with yourself. In the words of some of her clients…

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Transcript

Unknown: 0:03

I'm so honoured to have you here and welcome you to today's conversation. So sit back, take a breath and get ready to see the world through a new and expansive lens with me, am Evelyn Campbell. So what'd she say about your son? Yes. So I was saying my son, he just turned eight. So when I had him, it became a little bit of challenge to travel. And I found myself I think, when he was like, two and a half or three, like between that time, and that's what it was like, oh, I want to do all these things. And now it's like, okay, wait till he gets a little older. And then we can do. And then he'll be able to join in with you as well. And you're probably shared experience joy quite a lot. Yeah, that is so true. He was five and we travelled internationally. It was like, you know, kind of a nightmare. But now he's like, I want to go to a different country, mommy, no, he tells me places. So now it's gonna be so much fun to travel with him, he's actually going to have that awareness of where he is, and really enjoy the culture and the experience of being there. And asking questions on a different level. Which is nice, right? When your children start to do that, especially when you can interact with them in that way. I mean, I don't have kids. Yeah, so it's a lot of learning. That's a little while away from me, I think. I feel like I have learned so much from him. After having him. It has, it has really pushed me to become my better self every single day. I see like, you know, the me before I was a mom and the me after, you know, being a mom, it's such a big difference. Like, every day I wake up with like, okay, how can I become a little bit better mother today by becoming a better version of myself. I love that I always starts with you, right? Yeah. I think we're going to talk a little bit about that today. So I would love for you to give a short introduction to yourself. Let all of our listeners know who you are and what it is you do. And then I'd love you to share what's on your heart to speak about today to share today. Okay, wonderful. So hello, everybody. My name is Alia. Jamal, I call myself the love coach. And what I really do in that space is I hope, usually professional women, transform their stressed induced life into a very peaceful life, I help them unlock their inner peace by unlocking deeper level of self love. That's why I stick to self love, thank you. But it's really we are coming to that peace of deep inner peace within you. So you know, we don't have to rely on all kinds of medication and whatnot to achieve that, I help you activate that. And I'm a coach. And I'm also a private healer, which is a form of energy healing. And I combine the two, to create that peaceful space within you. And something, something that you were just talking about, like, you know, what do you want to talk about today? Something that, you know, I just got out of a coaching call with my coach, and we were talking about self image, which is a lot that I teach my clients to, like, how do we derive our self image? Like, how do I see myself? Do I see myself as you know, my parents saw me how my friends saw me, or how society sees me, I run into like, you know, people a lot, you know, they'll just look at the way I dress and they automatically have a judgement. But I'm nothing close to that I'm, like, get to know me, I'm very different than they look. So it's all about like, how I see myself. Hmm, that's what really makes the difference. Who am I going to be tomorrow? How I want that person to translate through me. So that is something you know, really excites me. And I have done a couple of workshops on self image to various income from because we don't realise sometimes like, you know, I'm a very successful woman, I got everything. But deep down. There's this extreme negative self talk going on. Because the way I see myself is not very healthy. But everyone else would tell you, Oh, you're wonderful, you're gorgeous, you're beautiful. But you know, that little thing can really pull me into depression. Because I'm not seeing myself the way everyone else's seeing me. So really nailing down where that self image is coming from and how we can shift it can really shift our whole life, all areas of our life from the outside. To reflect back to you and ask you that, do you feel that that internal shift requires us to deeply look at ourselves and be able to say I love you to yourself? And not just I loved you in the sense of my being, but also everything about me? And how do we make that shift? Especially if we've been in this paradigm of looking at ourselves through such a negative lens, looking at ourselves, seeing our limitation seeing our imperfections? How do we shift that like, to you, in your experience, what constitutes So in my experience, it's very simple. It goes down to what is the truth? So maybe like, you know, as a little kid, we were told, like, you know, you're not smart. Like I worked with a client who was like, you know, told over and over, you know, you're not a smart child, especially, like, go back 30 years, we were not aware of like, you know, the classroom how we are, so it was thrown out, you're just not a smart kid. So now they're 30. And they're like, Okay, I'm not smart. But is that true? That's not true. So if it's not true, then why we are holding on to it. What is true, so always leaning towards what is the truth. In this, it's almost like, you know, we are holding on to that anchor of lies that we were told, and we're sitting on the bottom of the ocean, as soon as we realise what is true, it's like you're floating above the water, and all of a sudden, you're swimming. And you're saying that, to me, that's how it feels, it really goes down to what is true. And you know, all those negative self talk or negative self belief we hold on to, those are just lies we are holding on to, and we just talk like, you know, it's true, because, you know, maybe your parents told you, or, you know, somebody close to told you that. But it's not necessarily true. Because everyone who's talking was let's say, my mom was talking to me, you know, 30 years ago, she was maybe having a very stressful day. And she didn't know like how to manage her stress. And I did something she got upset. And she just yelled at me and said something that was not very nice. If I was between the age of zero to seven, because the way our brain develops, I was in that hypnotic state, my brain was in theta wavelength, I just absorbed it. I didn't even have the ability to reject it. So now, I'm in my 30s. And you know, I'm holding on to that. So then I just asked myself, is it true? I have all this life, and all these years to look at and really ask myself, Is it true? No, it's not. Okay. If it's not true, then what is true. And let me shift to that. Let me hold on to that. And, you know, I have gone through, like, I was in a very deep depression to a point where I looked in the mirror, and I was like, I don't like this face, and I'll start painting my face. Like when I'm seeing painting, usually heavy makeup. People, I never thought I can resume, I would keep applying till like, there's none of me left. And there's like, you know, a different face on top of me. And then I would leave the house, because I just didn't like how I even looked. And now, I don't wear any makeup. And I look in the rear. I don't like oh my god, I was such a beautiful woman. What she did, it was just like, I started to see the truth in me. And the lies started to leave. And you know, deep down in our truth, we are just pure love, all of us. We are love and light. And it shines through us. Beautiful. Coming back to that place of unconditional love for yourself. I guess for a lot of people, there's a lot of roadblocks there. There's a lot of things that we perceive to be in the way of us really loving ourselves. And that's from my understanding why a lot of us put that love outside of us, myself included, I've been on this journey of looking for things outside of me to feel that love. So what are some practices that you find that people can integrate into their life to bring a connection back firstly to themselves so that they're experiencing unconditional love for themselves. And then from that, that obviously regulates outwards to that looking at yourself, loving yourself loving the way you look, loving the way you show up in the world. So I'm gonna answer that question in two parts. The first roadblock that I see in people it's judgement, and the second is guilt. So it's like, you know, love cannot even get to me because there's, I'm judging myself. There's so much guilt. Now judgement is easy to see. And we can release it. It's like, you know what, I'm just not gonna judge myself but guilt. That's where we get like, you know, sucked into like quicksand. Because guilt what we don't know understand about it, it's a tool that has been used to manipulate others and ourselves. It's a control mechanism, it creates safety, it creates security. And you know, no matter how badly we want to love ourselves, you know, that reptilian brain we have, you know, it's a blessing and a tie, we have to understand it, it wants safety, it will take safety over love any day. So the more we understand, I actually am controlling myself through guilt. And you know, the safety it's creating is just an illusion. It's not true safety, then it's like, okay, I melted the ice that was between me and you know, myself, once we start understanding that it gets easier to get to us. But you know, once you're there, just connecting with your heart, like it's so easy, putting your hand in the middle of your chest, because that's where our heart chakra is. And our hand has its own chakra, so to electromagnetic field, or coming in contact, it expands your energy field of your heart, and heart energy, same as vibration of love. And then we can just, you know, add a layer to it that we breathe from that space. So imagine your lips are in the middle of your chest, you're inhaling from there, you can inhale love, and you can exhale, whatever stress, anxiety and whatnot. And literally under 30 seconds to a minute, you will feel like you're swimming in energy of love. And then it's like your body and your nervous system really enjoys it, it's kind of like getting hooked on to a drug, it wants it more. So slowly, over time, what would happen, guilt feels so bad. It's like, you know, putting a bitter pill in your mouth, you're just like, I don't need more money. Jasmine feels bad too. Because we start to connect with energy of love, which is coming from within us. It's not coming from a romantic partner, it's not coming from a friend or a parent. So I think once we get hooked on to that, it just becomes so much easier to go back to that place of unconditional self love within us than you know, like looking at all the hurdles that we have. I think that's beautiful. And I would love to have your perspective on this. But actually also bringing love to the hurdles, bringing love to the limitations, seeing those things that come up, that we feel in our body and actually loving those parts of us like loving the more painful parts of us, that inner child or that person that went through trauma within us how do we also bring love to those parts before they're able to be released, because there's obviously a process between that awareness and that release. So one thing that really helps is understanding that I had to go through all that I did to be where I am. So there's no mistakes, like just holding that perspective or that mindset, there are no mistakes. Because the reason we hurt so much, because we are holding judgement against ourselves, we are holding that guilt against ourselves. It's not that someone else causes us pain, deep down when we get to the root of it. It's me causing pain to myself, because how I am interacting with that, for example, like you know, have a hardship in your romantic relationship. The first thing we say, I was so stupid to believe that person, why did I not see those? We go into that? How about this, you know, I really needed to go through this experience to become who I am today. So that is a very loving approach. So that releases all the pain. And that does not keep us stuck into that pain, then everything is love. Then I'm giving myself permission to make mistakes tomorrow because it's all learning experience. And I'm not like staying in that safe zone. Or don't fall in love again. It goes back to oh, I can trust again. It's okay, if I go through another heartbreak. It's okay, I can survive that. I'm here for myself. And there would be no mistake, I'll just grow to become a better person after that. Beautiful it's like using all of our experience as part of the journey back to unconditional love for ourselves. And when we can see it that way nothing ever becomes a block to that love. It just becomes kind of another portal we can dive into to expand. Exactly. It's like you don't start living like kids. They don't quit learning how to ride a bicycle after the first nice week. They don't. Even if it takes like you know a week for them to get better. They're back on that bicycle learning, learning how to ride it all over again. So if we just bring the same approach to our life as an adult It's so much fun, it's so much easier. something I saw on your blog, which I would love to actually touch on this, because I think it's going to really resonate with some people is the ability that we have to give love how we can find it quite easy to give love to our partners, to our children to our family, but we actually find it difficult to allow ourselves to receive love. I would love to hear your perspective on that. And why do we find it so difficult to receive, yet we're able to give. So it goes back to our self image. When I talk to a woman and we get to that place. It's like, I'm not worthy of love. And that goes down to like, you know, again, our childhood, the way I understood and learned, we all have a core wound, it's either like, I'm not lovable, or I'm not worthy of love. So when I give love to you, I am told it's like, you know, the noble thing to do. Some doing good in the world, when I'm, you know, so many people, they have these, and I'm working with a lot of leaders who are doing charity work, they can work day and night. They're exhausting themselves, because I'm helping all these people, or what about helping yourself, they don't feel worthy. They are a leader, their icon in the community, so many people are depending on themselves, but they don't feel worthy, you know, behind the scenes, their health is suffering, they have all these negative self image things going on. But they can't seem to give that love to themselves. To some cases, that action is from a place then of trying to make themselves feel worthy through the vehicle of supporting other people. Yeah, so that is like, you know, I see human we are like, you know, two parts. One is my relationship with myself and my relationship with my world. We are most of us are very good with our relationship with the world, we are very good at it. Because you can see it, if I treat you bad, you can see that, if I'm helping a lot of people, you can see that. But how I'm treating myself, no one can see it. It's invisible. It's invisible part of our own life, it's a secret that we carry within, and how I treat myself, no one can ever see it. So that's where the worthiness issue stays there. So I feel like I cannot really get to me again, what blocks us all the lies we are holding on to maybe you know, when we were little, our parents said something that we false like we are not worthy of, you know, receiving love, we are not worthy of this, we are not worthy of that. And we carry on to that. And we stay in that guilt cycle. So we'll go back to you know, just asking yourself that question, what is the truth in this? Is that who I really am, I have worked with so many people they are, you know, financially, they're doing wonderful. But the way they think of themselves, it's so unhealthy. And they don't even want to go to that place and they come to me they're like, Can you just help me fix this person in my life? You're just you know, giving me a hard time and I'm like, but look at all the hard time you're giving to yourself it's like being reflected back to them through that person. Yeah, exactly. But they don't want to work on them because it's such a intimate and vulnerable place to be just you know dropping all those lies that we are holding on to it's like you know holding on to that teddy bear. Again going back to a kid try taking that teddy bear away, they won't give it to you Don't cry, they hold on to it because it brings them safety so those negative self belief that we are holding on to our life that teddy bear so either it gets so painful that we have no choice left to but love ourselves and it happens usually two ways either we go through a health crisis as an energy healer I work with usually clients who you know, the doctor said there's nothing more we can do or I don't think so like you know the medical field has any solution you know, when they are in that space. So it all goes back to the energy they're holding on to or we go through a very tough heartbreak. And then we realise you know what, it's time to love myself instead of just looking for that love outside of those are the times when we are like it's time to love myself but if someone is having a normal average life, they are not going to look at it that you know I need to start giving love to myself. We do understand self care. More and more people are going for a massage or more and more people are going for you Yoga classes and making sure they go to gym, they eat healthy, according to how I understand it. That's your first level. Like, I took the first step to myself, there's so many other steps. And the final step is acceptance. Again, nothing, everything that I have done, had a purpose. And my favourite part to share with my client is, there's nothing you can ever do wrong. And they have such a hard time with that they're like, good, but I do so much wrong. I did that. And I'm like, No, there's nothing you could ever do wrong. Live your life from that perspective and see how happy you would be. And it feels so much easier. It takes us praying for it. Yeah, it takes all the pressure off of us. Once I take all the pressure off of me, I get to be the real me, not the pretend me. I get to be who I really am. How needed is that in the world right now? Oh, very needed. Very needed. And I'm on a mission. Mission. And what I can see in you that's beautiful, as well as your embodied in that self love, like you're embodied in that self love, but an unconditional love for yourself. So holding that space for others, when you can see that the love is not there within themselves, but you know that that's who they truly are? Yeah, what would you kind of want to say to people that are listening, that are thinking, and they're starting to shift and resonate with what you're saying, like, I'm looking after myself, but I'm not loving myself. Yeah. So I would want to say like, you know, connect to the person or the being that came in that little baby's body. Like, if you have your baby pictures, like you know, ask your mom or dad or look around, like maybe the day you were born, baby the first month, look at that baby, that is your truth. Everything else you're holding on to or the lies you're holding on to make it your life mission to get back to being that baby's true. Like, don't let money time or your life, get in the way or you know, I have four kids, I'm so busy. Don't let anything be in your way. Make it your life's mission, to connect with that baby's truth in you. Because that baby's still living through us. That is our truth. That is the part of us that carries the purpose we came in this world, I highly believe that each and every one of us came with this world with a purpose. And even the universe would be incomplete without us. So each and every one of us are that, you know, puzzle piece to complete the universe, we are that important. So make your life mission to connect with that truth. And I can assure you, once you do that, your life is going to be the juiciest, ever. It's going to be a lifelong honeymoon phase with yourself. Isn't that what we're really looking for? When we think we're looking for the deepest love in a partner, or someone to see us or attention or whatever it may be outside of us isn't what we're really searching for. Yeah, it's us. It's been sitting within us the whole time. But because the world told us to look it outside of you. We never looked within us. And you know, the biggest thing I come across I work with women who are in wonderful, happy relationships, like really beautiful, but they are living with the fear every single day. What if he leaves me? What if he dies? Who because they are attached to that presence. And you know, it is true, it is true, that we are the only person we're going to be with to get for a rest of our life. Even if let's say I'm a not very healthy partnership, maybe my spouse will die before me. What am I going to do then? So many women, they completely lose themselves because that love was their identity. They never created that passionate love within them. So they never realised okay, I can give that to myself. So once we have that deep, unconditional love within ourselves, we are not afraid in our relationships anymore. Our relationships are so free. So you come together with the same partner. And there'll be like, What just happened to you? Like I get that from my client. She's like, my husband is noticing, I'm changing and he likes those changes. But all we are doing is loving ourself and seeing yourself and hearing ourselves, making ourselves feel special. And then anything else that comes to our Life that's like, you know, cherry on top of the cake. But we have to create the cake, nurture the cake. I love that metaphor, not leaving it outside in the sun to you know, Rod and melt, put it in a cold place in a fridge, really nurture it. And you know, anything else that lives gives us that's like, you know, added bonus gift to it. Like, right now I'm living my happiest life. But the happiest I have been in my almost 36 years, this is the happiest, because I am in love with myself. Wow. And you could really tell from your energy that that's coming from a place of truth, you know, because I think of myself. And I think of how I would walk around and say, Oh, I love myself, you know, I love myself. But I didn't really truly understand what that meant. So understanding what that means and embodying it is the process of actually fully allowing ourselves to just connect with ourselves. So if there's someone listening right now, and they're thinking, I want to connect with myself more, but I also want to be in a partnership, right? I also want to enjoy my relationship with someone else, or I'm in a partnership, and I want it to experience more love. What techniques would you give to someone who says that because I think there's a reluctance there to be like, but I don't want to love myself, I just want to experience this really nice partnership, you know, yeah. So that is the thing that keeps a lot of people away from self love versus deep inner work, because they think when I will become selfish, and then I wouldn't want a man or a woman anymore. Like, I'll be so ambition, that I wouldn't want that. But it's so far away from the truth. When you are so in love with yourself, you want to share, it's like you're overflowing, you want to share it with someone else. And the person, the partner you already have, or you have in the future are going to be one of the luckiest because they are going to get the overflow of love, they are not going to get the needy and the expectations from you. Usually, that's what we have, I will expect my partner to treat me a certain way, I have all these needs, you're not fulfilling my needs. That's where all the problems start in our life. But if I am full, and I come close to my partner, it would be like magic happens. Literally magic happens. Like you know, every area of the relationship is like, you know, it's like fireworks, literally. And you know, I have experienced that myself. That's why I can say, and one thing we can start. So a very small practice. Start sitting with yourself without a phone or anything and just be with yourself, not a time to reflect or think. Just sit with yourself, go into nature for five minutes, 10 minutes, and just be with yourself, feel your body feel there's something moving through you there's a life force that's moving through you. And that was the same life force that moved through that little baby that you know, came out of mom's tummy. See if you can connect with that. It's almost like you know, how if we can connect with aliens will be like I made contact. Once you make contact with that being that's living through you moving through your body, there's no going back. The communication gets more easeful over time, right? And it's like, you would just what would come back and want to spend that time with yourself, it becomes that sacred time between just you and you. Again, your nervous system gets used to it, it'll be like, it'll wake you up in the morning, before anyone else wake up and be like, Hey, let's hang out with just me, it becomes so much easier. But in the beginning, it requires a little bit of discipline, and then it becomes easier to do it. Start there. And you know, no matter how beautiful relationship we are in, we always have like this tiny bit of complaint, you know, this little thing, this person is not doing 100% All those things start to disappear when we start to love ourselves. When I love myself, I cannot see any fault in you. Wow, wouldn't that be a beautiful relationship? If I'm holding judgement within me, only then I can see judgement in you. If I am using guilt to manipulate myself, I'm definitely going to use it for you too. So in that way, when we change and shift the relationship with ourselves, our other relationships, they become so much more beautiful. Like at this point, every single relationship I have. I never feel like this person did this to me or why they said this to me. Honestly, there's nothing anyone can do wrong at this point to me, because there's anything wrong I can do. So the same thing unconditional love come in relationships. And I can assure you, whoever is listening, your partner's gonna thank you for that. Whatever it is nice being in love with someone having a partnership. And you can never do anything wrong no matter like you know, even if you get late on your own date, even if you're no show, still, they won't hold it against you. As long as you know you come to them and you explain to them otherwise will stay upset for a week. Why did you do that even if the other person had a solid reason why they didn't show up. I think if we can bring that a little bit more of that in the world, we would have so much peace in our relationships. Definitely something that comes up for me right now. Because I can see it a lot in this space as well as practising and embodying and living from that place of unconditional love. Is there a need to cultivate boundaries still? Is that still a thing or how do we internalise what our boundaries are, but still show up? Unconditional, like a wonderful thing happened when we start practising unconditional love, there is no push or force in our life, everything flows. So just as a byproduct, you have a very high standard. Because you're looking at yourself as someone who's worthy of the whole universe. So your standards are so high, two things will happen. People who are not in alignment with you, they're just going to naturally fall off. If you're you won't say where you're vibrating, they are not a match, they will just, you know, randomly say I'm done with you, I'm walking out of your life, or you know, they will just stop calling your something. But because you're so in love with yourself, it won't bother you, you will honour them and respect them in that situation. And if let's say you are already in a relationship, you'll be able to see that, you know, I love myself, this person does not love themselves. And some point you might realise, you know, it's not my job to fix this person. But with love, I can release them, so they can live on their path, then there's no attachment. So many of us we hold on to people who are not good for us. And we are not good for them either. Because we are staying in their life telling them you're not good, you're not good. We're not helping them either. So coming to a place where I can detach, and they can just release this beautiful soul to go live their life. Just you know, it's their own path, they will fall in love with themselves when they want. At least I'm not the person who's telling it to them everyday. And it becomes very easy to release. So that is a natural boundary creation that happened, whoever is not up to that standard. But it doesn't come from like a pusher of force. It's not like I have to build a wall around me. I just become love and you know, anything that does not resonate with it leaves me or I release them. Hmm, I love that. And what's beautiful as well in that process of seeing people where they're at, if they're going through their own challenges and experiences when you can see them through the eyes of love, then sometimes that actually allows them to start to see themselves through those eyes as well rather than through condemning them or through saying what they're doing is wrong. So even in that process, if we can just look at them with the love that through whatever they're going through, and hold them as who they truly are that being behind all of the stories, right? If we can hold them there, then sometimes the release doesn't actually need to happen because it's they start to see themselves. So what I was kind of hearing and what you were saying there is like this is beyond boundaries is it's really, that this is so much more than that. It's not even becoming it's like going back to who you truly are living from that state and then letting the kind of flow of the universe work around you. Yeah, I call it becoming love. Once you become love, you don't need to create any boundaries. Because boundaries to me. I don't even use that words. Like you know, in my teaching, it seems like you know, I have to do something, it's like to me, it's like, I have to build a wall. Like a brick wall. I'm building around me, you know, you're not allowed to cross it. If I'm just love and you're not in alignment with me. You wouldn't want to talk to me, you would be like there's something wrong with Ali. I don't even want to call her because I am a different energy. I live in a different space so you wouldn't want to because I'm not gonna hear any complaints. A lot of time our attachment with each other is based on how much we can complain together. Other, when one woman she becomes love, all of her friends are gonna change anyone who would be ready to ride on the same, you know, wave will stay, everyone else would, you know, fall away or stop talking to you. And like you said that would happen naturally? Yeah, it won't be like now I have to call everyone and be like, Hey guys, you're not allowed to talk to me about this ugly way sir. And then they attract, like, you know, women who are at that level as well. So if let's say, I do work with a lot of you know, single ladies who are looking for love, and we start with like, Alia, all the good men are taken, we start at that belief, we work through that belief, and then the end, they can see love. Some of them, you know, some person would randomly walk into their life, they learn how they are holding on to attachment, releasing coming back to their truth. And then, you know, very soon, they would be just, you know, in a beautiful relationship, and people who are already in a partnership, their partnership changes so fast. I had this one client, she had, like, you know, a bit of a rough relationship going on. Within few weeks, she was like, he's such a different man. She's so much, we have so much peace in our home, he didn't go for coaching, he didn't do anything. As she became more of energy of love, she attracted more energy of love from him, because it goes back to that little child that was born, is still alive with each and every one of you that I'm only going to attract that with you. So at this point, I don't have any bad experiences, like I go out. I feel like I'm living in such a beautiful place. All the people are wonderful. Even the drivers on the road are so good. Everyone is so good and nice. Because that's the experience I'm choosing to have. Because that's the energy I'm putting out amazing. And even if you experience something that maybe before and for anyone listening, you would deem as a challenge or pain now it's like it's an opportunity for a deeper level of connection and love within myself, right? Like earlier this week in the Facebook Messenger. There was this one lady, she said, you know, very, not a beautiful comment, I'll just say she said that about me, it was a lot of judgement and assumption instead of getting her, I was so surprised. The first thought I had, oh my god, she's holding so much judgement in herself. Because if she's not holding judgement, she can not judge me. Like it's impossible. So I just saw, like, from then on the whole conversation was, I feel so much compassion for her. And while we are having this conversation, and she's trying to justify, like, you know what she said, I closed my eyes. And I sent so much love from my heart to her heart, to the point where I felt her heart is feeling very calm. I just sent her so much love. And then at the end, like, you know, after a few hours, she was like, you know, I'm sorry, you just realised what I said was not right. I said, it's okay, we all are human. Okay, and you didn't try to change her was just a shift internally, you and that's where like we sort of picked up on earlier, your outside reality then just reflects back to you without you needing to change that or things just naturally fall away that don't no longer belonging, the reality that you're choosing to live by, which is amazing. That is so true. And you know, if I was like, you know, me from like, six, seven years ago, I would have felt hurt. I would have maybe even cried or like you know, unfriended on Facebook, stop liking her post. None of that happened. It's like, okay, you know, she's just going through a day where she was holding a lot of judgement within herself. We all are going through our own stresses in life. It wasn't about me. I showed up in love. And it's only my job to make myself feel validated and loved. It's not her job. She can to see her comments however she wants, but it's not true. So I'm not gonna accept it. It's not true. Well, I'm kind of saying there is all judgement is in the end self judgement of self. Yeah, that is so true. And once we shift that, oh my God, our whole life changes. Like the relationships I have seen transformed in my life and lives of my clients. It's huge. I'd love for you to share like some of the biggest things, especially for our listeners, some of the biggest things that you notice that people can start to kind of shift internally within them so that they can experience not just more love with themselves, but more love with If their reality, can I share my photos? Okay, oh, I see a huge shift is like the biggest. And then Mike, I saw a really big two. So I actually got divorced in August 2020. And it was a divorce done out of pure love. So before it even started, I was so in love with myself. And then I just continued on the process. And it was just such a loving divorce. Like, you know, my ex ended up moving in with the first of all, I call the girl once I found out I called her and I was like, Hey, do you know this guy? She was like, Yeah, and I'm like, I'm his wife, but you know, I'm going to divorce him. If you want him, you can have him a place to come from Oh, my God, that takes a lot within you to be able to look at something like that with that much love. And she was just like, how did you have the courage to call me and I was like, You know what, I'm not an average woman. That's why, but you know, I have seen your chat. And I feel like you're in love with him, you know, you can have him if you're okay with that. And it's just gonna take me a while to get the divorce finalised because the pandemic was starting. So, you know, fast forward, she moved closer to our place, he was, you know, he moved in with her. It was the work that I have done within myself that I can see both of them with love and respect. And not feel like I'm the victim of circumstances. And I could understand that because I have changed, this person was not a match to my vibration. And I see, you know, I see her as, like, such a wonderful gift from the universe, if she wasn't in the picture, I might have still, you know, stuck with the same thing out of the guilt of like, Oh, I'm a mom, and let's keep the family and whatnot. So one day, you know, we ran into each other at the grocery store. And I could see like, she's a wonderful woman, I could see like, you know, she was holding that guilt, oh, my god, maybe a broke a family and whatnot, I can see, as we were having conversation, and she was like, you know, I just want to tell you, I think of you so many times, I could see in that moment, you know, this soul needs some love right now for me. So I hugged her. And I told her, you know, your blessing for me, I'm so happy to have you in my life. Because it allowed you to move that was like the initiation for you to be like, Okay, it's time to move elsewhere in your life right now, even if the pain is felt by that separation that happens, you know, that that pain again, like we kind of addressed earlier was a deeper chance for you to connect with yourself and love yourself even more. And I was able to give her love in that moment. And I was like, you know, hey, it's like, you know, don't think anything like that. And I see you as a gift. And you know, my son, he loves you too. And your blessing in my life. And I felt in that moment also because, you know, I feel energy Allah, she felt lighter to, like, you know, she got permission to like, you know, be okay with it. And that is the magic that unconditional self love can carry in the whole universe. You know, I could have seen her and I'll be like, you know, why you're even here. Like, you know, he could have been a very different situation. But in that moment, you know, because I healed my inner wounds, I was able to create a space for someone else to heal themselves to. And I'm sure, you know, she felt touched by love in that moment. And I'm sure it is going to change a lot how she interacts with life, too. So that's how we one person get activated through love can activate another and you know, it's a ripple effect. Wow. Wow. So just always trusting what life brings you is the key there. Yeah. And then moving from that place of what it brings you is what's coming up right now is what I'm supposed to be experiencing. And all I have to do is go back to me, whatever falls away is what's naturally meant to leave and whatever comes is supposed to come. Yeah, that is the true and in that another key thing that kept me afloat during that time and you know, it helps me every day. I have a limited strength within me to face anything. Like you know, if you would have asked me like, six, seven years ago, I would be like, you know, if I saw this man, I love so much with someone else. I think I might either fail or die like something would happen to have that happen because I am so much bigger. I have so much strength within me. And to me every day I wake up and I'm like, how much more of me can I discover today? How much more bigger can I feel today? When I start my With that, I think it creates a change in everything. Whatever I'm going to experience. Hmm. Well, I was gonna ask if you wanted something to finish up with. But I think that was a nice, nice little kind of combination endpoint. But I just want to honour you for like sharing with us today, because I think unconditional love is something that we hear about. But we don't bring it back to the self and the focus on the self, which I think the work that you're doing is that it's about unconditionally loving, accepting yourself first as the foundations to then allow yourself to experience more of that reflected back to you in reality, and then through that you're able to practice non attachment. And that takes away a lot of the suffering that we experience in our lives, and also a lot of stresses that we go through today. That's why I say like, I help you transform your stresses into peace, love, this peace, when you're in love, you're in so much peace, those stresses, they start to dissolve too, because you're looking at everything from a place of love. I'm running late, I'm allowed to make the mistake there. Every little thing gets lovely. So thank you for sharing some beautiful guidance that I know a lot of people are going to really deeply connect with. So if people are looking to connect deeply with you and to connect and learn from you, where can they find you? How can they reach out, they thank you so much for giving me this opportunity for this conversation. So the easiest way is either go on my website, it's Alia Jamal coaching.com. Or they can just find me on Facebook. Just search Alia Jamal, the love coach will pop up, reach out to me, I would just love to have a conversation even just about love, like, you know, what did you walk away with in this conversation? I always love to have that I can. I've definitely walked away with some things. So that's the great thing about these spaces, and the ripple effect that these spaces have right? It's affecting you. It's affecting me it's affecting our listeners. And that's what unconditional love is about. Really, it's about bringing that connection from a place of just sharing and connecting with people and connecting with yourself. So anyone who wants to connect with a lady, you can go to the show notes, you'll be able to find her website and a Facebook there. But is there anything that you'd like to leave us on from your heart before we finish up today? You know, there's this one quote, I learned from A Course in Miracles. I'm just gonna read it to you. Yeah, definitely. And you know, for those of you who don't, like, you know, resonate with the word, God, please feel free to change it with the word universe. Here's the quote, The truth about you is so lofty, that nothing unworthy of God is worthy of you. Choose then what you want in these terms and accept nothing you would not offer to God as holy sitting for him. So the gist of it, the quote is, if you would not like to offer something, a word of thought and action to a higher being, don't offer it to yourself. Hmm, well, powerful quota is gonna sit with a lot of our listeners when as we finish up today, but thank you so much for coming on. And thank you, everyone for tuning in today. It's been an honour having you on the show. So thank you. Thank you so much mo for having me. It's been truly an honour, but he snuck in. Totally, totally. Thank you so much, everyone. See you later. Thank you so much for tuning in today. I hope you feel even more expanded, connected and inspired from today's conversation. Don't forget to leave us a review if you're listening on Apple, Spotify, and you can head to the show notes for even more ways to connect to our community. See you next week.